I feel like Fail Whale - the dreaded weigh-in at the Korean obsetrician and how to somewhat keep things in check

Thanks to Twitter's Fail Whale, I have an accurate description of how I feel each time I have my weight checked at the obstetrician's office. I know that every girl (and possibly guy) dreads being weighed in public, however, many fellow curvy foreigners can attest to the fact that it's worse in Korea. Even though I'm only 5 feet tall and actually shorter than the average Korean woman (Koreans often get mistakenly grouped into the "all Asian people are small" category), I have always been a rather "healthy" weight and I have a set of hips and buttocks that can rival Beyonce's . Although Korean women tend to be at least 4 inches taller than me, if not more, the majority have mastered that beautiful willowy look that rivals Kate Moss. So I know that even on a good day, I probably weigh at least the same, if not more than the average Korean woman who is way taller than me. I was damned from the start!

Now that I'm pregnant (and eating like a horse), it's gotten worse and in keeping with my horse analogy, I need blinders to keep from looking at the scale. So there I am at every visit among those slim Korean girls who look like snakes who have swallowed beach balls, rather than "that" foreigner who looks like I've swallowed not only a beach ball but a set of floaties on my hips and an inner tube around my backside; "trying to blend in". Well, blending in doesn't happen when I'm obviously not Korean. So I get looks anyway and now I really get looks because I'm pregnant on top of it.

For the average person staring at me, I don't feel too self conscious because I believe that I'm somewhat of a wizard at manipulating clothes to cover the "problem areas" and show off "the assets". However, such magical masking never fools the scale. The first obstetrician's scale was brilliant, you faced away from it and the actual digital read out screen faced only the nurse. Although, it didn't block out the sound of her sharp inhale when she was obviously reading it. At the time I wasn't too concerned because it was very early on in my pregnancy and I was eating all the time because it was the only thing keeping my morning sickness at bay. Now it's hello second trimester, new obstetrician and a stupid normal scale that shows the number to the world. After not being able to look away my first time around, I vowed never to look at that thing again. A week later I was in for an actual scan and they weighed me yet again (which I thought was just cruel) and even though I felt the same and didn't look at the number, the girl weighing me did that intake of breath and actually said "oh, you gained". Well thank you very much! Just what I needed in my state of denial.

So although many Korean health care professionals are somewhat more direct than what we are used to at home, don't despair. Do what I do, in your mind turn the words "you've gained" into "you've lost" and unless your obstetrician expresses major concern about the rate you're gaining weight, believe me you're fine! Before wallowing in a litre of ice cream whilst lounging around in a mumu; just keep eating lots of fruit and veggies in between the chocolate and ice cream and keep up those preggo workouts. My workout recommendations are Kathy Smith's Pregnancy workout which can be downloaded (handy in Korea), although it's totally from the 80's with horrendous music and leotards, the exercises are still very good. My favourite has to be Denise Austin's Fit & Firm Pregnancy workout, although I have only found it on DVD so you will need to order it from overseas. The exercises are fun, the music is more up-to-date and the workout clothes are stylish. My only complaint is Denise Austin has one of the most annoying voices and accents I have ever heard (okay it's a bad American accent, sorry US friends, I am from Canada after all). If I hear "this will benefit you and your baby" one more time, I will scream. But this can be easily fixed by putting her on mute.

So there you have it ladies. Don't take the weigh-in comments too much to heart (there's a good chance the girl weighing you has never been pregnant, so what would she know about eating), stay healthy and don't feel guilty giving into those cravings. I know all too well how impossible it is to resist them. This is your pregnancy and no one can make you feel bad about how you are handling it. Everyone does things differently but don't forget that women have been doing this for eons and there isn't a right or wrong way to do things. Also keep in mind that celebrities are the minority and are absolute freaks when it comes to pregnancy so ignore those pregnancy magazines sporting Posh on the cover merely looking bloated when she was 9 months pregnant.

Financing Having a Baby in Korea

The great thing about Korea, particularly in Seoul, is that the health care facilities available are numerous and outstanding. The downside is that finding full medical coverage for expat maternity care can be tricky. Although most expats in Korea are looked after by National Health Care, the problem is that this barely covers the cost of having a baby in Korea. I can only speculate that this is due to the majority of expats in Korea are here to work and not here to have babies. There is of course private health insurance available that individuals can opt to pay for themselves, however like in my case, unless you've sorted private insurance out in advance, the chances of being able to get it after falling pregnant isn't as easy. The good news is that health care in Korea is affordable even without any medical coverage to speak of.

What does the basic National Health Care cover? Mainly the doctor's consultation fee which is unfortunately the cheapest part of the bill (usually between 15,000-20,000 won).

What isn't covered by basic National Health Care? The tests and ultrasounds, although they are usually much cheaper than most Western countries. It's hard to determine the cost because it can literally range from 60,000-200,000 won depending on where you go and what kind of scan you're having.

What about when it comes time to squeeze that watermelon out? Stay tuned because I haven't hit this point yet (believe me, you'd know and probably hear me for miles). I'm still doing research and arriving at conflicting conclusions so I will write a sequel to this later. From what info I have gathered so far, if you have no coverage, the actual cost of birth is far less than I certainly would have guessed. I've been told that it usually costs between 800,000-1.5 million won. Again, it all depends on where you go. For instance, I will be birthing in a modern birthing centre that focuses on expats which is more pricey (not because we're being ripped off) but because it's rather fancy (there's a snack bar in the birthing area, need I say more!?!)

Now let me tell you about a little hidden secret that I would never have found out about if I didn't have a fab doctor. It's the Little Pink Card! This card is funded by the Korean government and you get it through any KB bank. About 400,000 won will be deposited in your new account that you never have to pay back. You can use up to 60,000 won per doctor's visit to help fund your baby expedition. If you don't use all of it, don't worry, you can use the rest at the delivery. You can also use this money to help with travel costs to and from the obstetrician. This is what you have to do:

1. Ask your doctor for the appropriate form.

2. Have someone at the doctor's office help you to fill in the form (it's all in Korean) and then they have to endorse it with their signature and stamp.

3. Take said form to any KB branch.

4. Go to the "opening a new account" section (not the tellers).

5. Wave form in front of them, along with your passport and alien registration card.

6. It will take about 20-30 minutes for them to process the forms and to open a new account for you. All you have to do is punch in a PIN, sign stuff and look tired and you might get a free drink (I did!)

7. In 3 days you will get a text message saying something in Korean with KB on it (I assumed it meant my card was ready to pick up). Then head to your KB branch and pick up your card (go to the accounts section again and show your alien card).

8. Then you get your new pink card ready to spend someone else's money! Yay!

Not the actual card (I'm not that stupid!)

Haesindang Penis Park - Warning: X Rated!

I've been meaning to write about this for ages, especially since it most definitely fits into the "weird and wacky" section of Korea. You might be wondering what this has to do with pregnancy in Korea? Well in my case it has EVERYTHING to do with it because a month after visiting this place, I fell pregnant (serves us right for making a fertility park the site for our marriage proposal).

My husband and I decided to take our beat up, hand-me-down Kia Sefia (a.k.a. Sophia) on a road trip to the east coast of Korea. So on a weekend in late Spring, we did just that and it was the best! It's not only fabulous to get out of such a big city like Seoul, but Korea has some hidden beauty in major mountains and wonderful coastlines. Our destination was Samcheok , a town known for fishing, caves and lots of ocean. From the looks on the local faces, I think we were the only foreigners to visit Samcheok during the off season (best time to go is late April/early May - the weather is beautiful and there are no tourists around).

One day I was looking through some local brochures to see what kind of tourist attractions were located in that area. I stumbled across this "Haesindang". The pictures looked nice (and there wasn't a penis in sight) so I had a look online to see what it was all about. I shrieked with delight when I found out that "Haesindang" is the polite name for the penis park! This park has been on my list of "must visit" since my first trip to Korea. Up until that point, I had no idea that the penis park was only 25km from Samcheok, I merely knew that it was too far from Seoul for a quick visit (hence why I hadn't been before). So we jumped in Sophia for a side trip to the penis park.

The day started out overcast but the sun came out just as we were pulling into the parking lot. There was no mistaking it because greeting us at the entrance were 2 very large penis totem poles. After paying our entrance fee of 3,000 won each (best 6,000 won we ever spent), we started along the path. It was surprisingly beautiful with plenty of nature, outstanding landscaping and breathtaking views of the ocean. My husband is quite the artsy fartsy photographer so he had to stop at the entrance to pull out his fancy camera. It was at this point that I mentioned that the penis park would be a great place to propose because it would make for a hilarious story (more to come on that later).

We walked only a few feet and we weren't disappointed. We came upon a bunch of penis statues and benches suspended between a couple of phalluses. Without going into too many gory details, I'll sum it up by saying that there were so many in all sorts of shapes, sizes, some with faces, some without, some were extremely life-like and others were "every man's dream".

If you haven't already wondered why this place is littered with all things penis, then something is wrong with you. The story is actually quite sad. Here is an excerpt taken from the Korea Tourism website (www.visitkorea.or.kr):

Legend of Aebaw and Haesindang - There once lived a young maiden who was engaged. One day, the maiden took her husband's boat out to sea to harvest seaweed. Her husband dropped her off at a rock that was at a distance from the beach. After promising to pick her up later, he returned to the beach to do his work. Later, the weather changed, and brought with it strong winds and pummeling waves. The man couldn't rescue his wife and she ultimately drowned. Since then, the fish resources dried up and some believe it was because of the dead maiden. To soothe the spirit of the dead maiden, the village people made several wooden carvings and held religious ceremonies on her behalf. The penis is used because it symbolizes fertility and new life (hence why I'm now pregnant!) So now Haesindang is covered with close to 300 penis totems.

Now you might be wondering about my proposal suggestion? Well, yes, he did pop the question and yes, it was next to a giant phallus. I've had many female friends lift an eyebrow and tentatively ask if I was excited and I have to reassure them that it was the best proposal I could have hoped for. After 10 years it's hard to surprise a girl but he managed, boy did he ever!

A more traditional Korean scupture (although they usually don't have a huge phallus)

Penis Cannon!?!?!

Site of the Penis Park Proposal

Overlooking the harbour - it's a very beautiful place (despite the phalluses)

The shrine to the drowned maiden.

One of the many main attractions.

Photos courtesy of my own personal photographer - the husband.

Korean Wedding Ducks

I know you're probably wondering what ducks have to do with pregnancy and rest assured they have nothing to do with it. I meant to post this before I turned my blog into a pregnancy one but I think you will find it interesting anyway. As you already know from my previous entry, I was proposed to in a Penis Park. After trying to figure out the best way to keep our wedding simple at the same time as coordinating 3 countries (I'm from Canada, he's from Australia, we now live in Korea), we settled on getting married at our local "gu" office (Korean equivalent of city hall). When I heard about the Korean wedding duck tradition, I had to participate.

Korean Wedding Ducks are traditionally used in a Korean wedding ceremony. One duck represents the bride and the other duck represents the groom (our ducks are actually two different sizes which I thought was very cute since my husband is over a foot taller than me). The ducks symbolize peace, togetherness and children. Ducks mate for life which is why they are chosen for this. The ducks are given to the couple covered in colourful silk up to their necks, then upon the actual marriage they are unwrapped. The mother of the groom is suppose to throw one of the ducks at the bride who will try to catch it in the apron of her hanbok (traditional Korean dress). If she catches it, the first born will be a boy. If she misses, the first born will be a girl.

Upon our marriage my mother-in-law was in Australia but insisted that she will throw a duck at me when we celebrate with them next month. Unfortunately for this part of the tradition, I'm already pregnant and even though I don't know what it is yet, the sex has already been figured out. I guess we can still have a laugh (more for my mother-in-law) as she flings a wooden duck at me.

My favourite bit of the tradition is that the ducks have to stay in the couple's home always and are positioned beak to beak. When the couple argue, the ducks are suppose to be placed tail to tail. This reminds the couple of their union and not to fight. At first I thought it would be funny mid argument to stomp over to the ducks and turn them around. But my poor husband is scared to death of this happening that if we ever have a little tiff and I threaten to turn them around, he actually checks on them later.

So ladies, keep this in mind - the ducks have power!

Our Korean Wedding Ducks - before

Our Korean Wedding Ducks - after

Ultrasounds in Korea - they love them here!

Okay, if you're like I was about 5-6 weeks into your pregnancy, you are probably questioning if there is really something going on in there or has this been a major scam and you're looking around for the hidden camera. After about a million Google searches, I was reassured that there is something in there and the preggo symptoms will be flooding in shortly. Now the main point of this entry is Korea's love affair with ultrasounds. I personally do not feel these numerous scans are necessary unless the pregnancy is a high risk one. However in saying that, there is one scan that isn't routinely done in Western countries that I was glad I had done.

At 6 weeks it was suggested by my obstetrician that I go in for my first check up. I knew at the time that it was a bit early for anything substantial to be done but I agreed to go in anyway because I wanted to be cleared to fly to Canada the next day (nothing like leaving things to the last minute!) I was also told that they would be doing an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy (apparently the nurse's ramblings on the phone about HCG levels a few weeks before wasn't confirmation enough - see previous blog entry). So I mentioned all of this to hubby and warned him that all we might see on the screen is a bean like blob. No problem, we were in this together, so off we went.

Fast forward to the clinic. After being escorted into the screening room, I was instructed to remove my bottoms (thank goodness I wore a skirt!) I knew the dreaded internal ultrasound was about to happen (I had avoided this unpleasantness long enough that it clearly caught up with me - see previous blog entry). Not to go into too much detail but it was forgotten once something flashed onto the screen. Now I know I mentioned above that I knew we wouldn't see much but part of me seemed to think we would see this little alien like creature on the screen. Nope, not going to happen! After a few seconds where my husband and I were leaning forward, squinting our eyes at the screen and quite possibly angling our heads to the side a bit. We both said a rather anti climatic "oh". Because all we saw was a perfectly round circle. Noticing our perplexed faces, the technician proceeded to use her mouse to point to the circle and say that's the yolk sac. Yes, now that cleared things up (said very sarcastically). Now I know for a fact my husband didn't have a clue what that was because I know I didn't. But I felt because I am a woman and managed to become pregnant that I should know these things, so I kept quiet about it and secretly thanked the creators of Google. After an emphatic "ahh, yes, of course" (on my part, hubby was still unusually quiet), we were presented with our prenatal information pack (sadly with no information on this elusive yolk sac). The part of the appointment when the nurse was going over the scan photos with us, is usually when most people would ask intelligent questions. Nope, not me. Instead I said, "I feel like a chicken". After a very awkward silence interrupted briefly by a snort of laughter from my husband (bless him, he gets me) we were on our way home. (FYI -I was cleared to fly no problem).

To sum up this experience, although it certainly will not even get an honorary mention next to the likes of "hearing the first heartbeat scan" or "seeing the baby bouncing up and down scan", it was a great way to actually see something in there and knowing it's happening rather than wondering. My understanding is that in Western countries the first scan is usually done around 11-13 weeks. Now that's a long time to wait and to wonder what is going on in there.

To sum up the first ultrasound for all my expat readers in Korea:

- take that first 6 week scan if it's offered to you. You will feel better!

- it's relatively inexpensive (somewhere around 50,000-80,000 won depending on where you go and some of that may also be covered by your insurance).

- expect to see a round circle and nothing else. Embrace the circle beforehand and it might be more exciting.

And finally, the most important advice:

- WEAR A SKIRT

- GOOGLE "YOLK SAC" PRIOR TO YOUR APPOINTMENT

- KEEP CHICKEN COMMENTS TO YOURSELF!

It's Positive, now what? Confirming a pregnancy in Korea

As an 8 year old girlie girl planning my elaborate wedding acted out by my Ken and Barbies in my native home of Canada, I would have looked at you as if you had two heads if you told me that I would marry an Australian in Korea and start my family there. Funny, in my very early plans Ken and Barbie failed to fly anywhere which is why you can never plan too much of your life or you might miss out on something fabulous.

So what do you do after you've finally figured out that Korean home pregnancy test (HPT) and it has the two lines? Personally I like to make sure which is why I took 4. Actually I have a confession to make, after my previous experience with home pregnancy tests in Korea (see previous blog entry), I vowed never to use one again which is why I stocked up on a bunch the last time I was overseas just to be on the safe side. My shopping basket looked very peculiar with nothing but HPTs and Kraft Dinner (I told the girl at the checkout that I live in Korea as if that should explain everything; she politely declined to comment).

So once my 4 tests were positive and I walked around all day in a daze waiting for my husband to come home so I could tell him, I had to start thinking about seeing a doctor to confirm everything. Now this is the tricky part. In most Western countries it's standard practice to have a blood test to confirm everything and it's very accurate. Well in Korea when you go to the doctor never having a pregnancy confirmed before, you could end up having all sorts of less accurate tests before you realise that the time saving blood test is not going to happen. That's what happened to me. Now because I had used early response tests from overseas, I was able to confirm things extremely early on (unlike if I had taken a Korean HPT, I would have had to be 2 weeks late). Once at the doctor they made me do a urine test which is interesting because I thought I had already done 4 of those! Sure enough, if it's very early on your HCG levels (pregnancy hormone) are low and probably won't be detected in the urine test (which is the same problem with the Korean HPTs). With 4 positive sticks, I wasn't going to take no for an answer. The next thing they wanted to do was an internal ultrasound. Now I had never heard of one of these things before so I was skeptical and needed to know what its purpose was. It was then explained to me that it can sometimes show the gestation of the embryo, therefore confirming the pregnancy. I was like, you can see something 2 weeks in? The technician said, probably not but maybe. Now, my dear readers, this is where I lost it. I proceeded to inquire as to why anyone in their right mind would let them put a wand thingy up their lady bits when it probably won't show anything? So I ever so politely asked if it's possible to have a blood test? Well shock horror, they could do that for me. Hallelujah!

5 minutes later, a slightly sore arm and an inflated doctor's bill due to the unnecessary tests; I left with the assurance I would get the results in 2 days. When this day finally came, I did indeed get the promised phone call, however it wasn't what I expected. The nurse on the other end started rattling off all sorts of numbers and said that I was "normal". I sat their perplexed wondering what the hell all that meant. After a few minutes I felt the need to interrupt her and ask what she probably thought was the dumbest question.......am I pregnant? After a very lengthy pause with crickets chirping in the background, she started giggling and said "well yes". Okay, fab, that's all I needed to hear.

So expat ladies (and partners along for the journey), to sum up confirming a pregnancy in Korea:

- if you go to the doctor and are first offered a urine test or internal ultrasound, think twice because it might be a waste of time (and money).

- don't be afraid to refuse tests and insist on a blood test.

- from my research into this, the blood test is about as accurate as you can get and can be done extremely early on so you might as well opt for this option first off (and it will save you a lot of unnecessary violation of the lady bits).

Korean Home Pregnancy Tests - a little misleading!

Hello one and all! I know I have been disgracefully neglecting my blog, however with working full-time, getting married and visiting family overseas; time was tight. However now my circumstances have changed somewhat that warrants many new entries. I'm pregnant (happily) and with living in a strange land (although it's becoming less and less strange) and with the prospect of not leaving before the 9 months are up, I thought I would share my experience to help other expats facing this very same challenge.

Challenge #1 - The Home Pregnancy Test (HPT)

My first experience with this is a memorable one! Although this happened a few months before my current condition was confirmed, I think it still warrants an entry since it made me realise how very ill informed I really was. My first ever experience with a HPT was also my first experience with one in Korea. After chatting to a fellow expat friend who suspected my symptoms at the time warranted a check, I headed down to the local pharmacy. After asking for a "pregnancy testuh" I was met with a confused look. So I then re-enacted the scene from Bridget Jones 2 when she asks for a HPT at a pharmacy in Switzerland. After much gesticulating on my part with exaggerated arm gestures in front of my extended stomach, the pharmacist finally understood me with a great big "ahhhh" and presented me with a box that resembled a test.

So off I went home with some moral support from the same friend as before who decided to casually mention, "oh I hope it's one that has a plus or minus sign". I was like what? Why would that make a difference? She then told me to look at the box. Sure enough the entire thing was in Hangul, including how to read if you're pregnant or not. Great! So I took the test but it really didn't matter since the results meant absolutely nothing to me. I tried translating it using Google Translate but I can't even begin to tell you the things that were coming up. So I called my friend again and asked her what she did when she had this similar problem. Her answer was that she too had no idea so she took the HPT stick, walked around with it and asked random Koreans if it was "yes" or "no". After a good laugh, I asked her which one it is. She said she didn't remember! So I contacted one of my close (and very discreet) Korean friends, explained my predicament and asked her if she could please help. Of course she did, so after I sent a quick digital photo of the stick (with instructions), she was able to tell me right away it was negative. I then made sure to write down that 2 lines means positive and 1 line means negative and ensured that my expat friend knew this too.

It was some time later that the same expat friend was in a similar predicament. So on one of our many shopping trips, I suggested we head to the pharmacy to get a HPT. So we did. We happened to get an extremely helpful pharmacist who also spoke great English. She made sure we knew that 2 lines means "positive". We said don't worry, WE KNOW! But just as we were leaving, she casually mentioned that the test will not show an accurate reading unless the user is at least 2 weeks late in her cycle (sorry guys, too much information). We almost fell over! We asked if that refers to all HPTs in Korea and she said yes. Well that kind of information is rather important! Especially when 2 fairly clueless expats are used to the early response HPTs sold in most Western countries that can detect a pregnancy before you're even due. That's almost a 3 week difference!

So ladies, to sum it up. If you need to buy a HPT in Korea, please note the following:

- 2 lines means positive

- 1 line means negative

- most HPTs cost between 3,000-4,000 won

- don't even bother taking one unless you are two weeks late

Or simply stock up on Early Response pregnancy tests next time you visit home!